Have you ever been really scared? (Repost)
I don’t mean frightened by reading a horror novel, seeing a scary movie, walking through a spook-house, hearing scary stories around the campfire or having to go into the basement after it’s dark.
I’m talking more about the fear you experience when your very life is in danger such as being in battle during a war, those seconds prior to an imminent automobile accident or when falling from the roof of your house, street fights, getting robbed or discovering that you are in the house alone with a burglar.
Some of those experiences above happen so quickly that fear doesn’t even have a chance to manifest itself – most likely, there is only enough time to say “Oh shit” before dying. Other occurrences may only happen once in a lifetime, and only for a few moments or maybe several hours, but then if you survive it’s over with.
Now consider t
hose deployments by military personnel in war, be it Vietnam, Iraq or anywhere else in the world. Running patrols to seek out the enemy is like walking through a spook-house. Yo
u are expecting something to happen any moment now. It could be a live person or some prop lurking around every corner, ready to jump out at you. At times, spook-houses can be scary, but after exiting, you are able to take a deep breath and laugh about the experience. In a war, this fear continues day in and day out; a prop or live individual jumping out from its hiding place could kill you in an instant. You are always on heightened alert and the adrenaline boils over, looking for an outlet. Even when returning to the base after a patrol, you are still afraid of incoming snipers, mortars, rockets and ground attacks.
Night is the wors
t, especially in Vietnam, where visibility is limited to only a couple of f
eet in the dark jungle. Not only are you scared of the enemy, who may be out there watching you, but you also have to worry about what may crawl into your sleep area with you during the night. Scorpion’s, lizards, snakes, spiders, centipedes, and other creatures of the night may be attracted to your warmth and cozy up to you.
It is pitch black outside and if you feel something drop on you or come in contact with any part of your body, you just can’t sit up and turn on the light to investigate.
Instead, you have to “man up” and just lay there hoping for the best. Thankfully we were so young back then, because every night heart attacks were just waiting to happen.
Yeah, I was really scared for that entire year and continue to react nervously whenever a car engine backfires, fire crackers pop or when thunderstorms pass through the area. I also have an extreme fear of spiders and snakes – if you’ve read my book – you know why.
Can you share examples of your own? WELCOME HOME to all veterans and returning heroes!
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July 13, 2010 at 11:11 pm
I do know just what you are talking about when you mention how something lke an imminent car crash or a fall can ‘scare’ you, but that once you survive the actual terror is over pretty quickly. I fell years ago, about 17 feet, while working as an ironworker. Although I did break my neck and my lower back, the actual terror/fear only lasted what I think was no more than two sconds aor so. I can’t imagine having the constant fear of impending doom or danger for most of a whole year.
John, thank you for sharing your experiences in the war with all of us. Getting your perspective and hearing your story helps all of us fully appreciate just what you and all warriors, past and present, have gone through in the defence of our freedoms.
July 14, 2010 at 9:48 am
Oh yeah — I have had plenty of those moments. One was at Khe Sanh. We just got there in April to relieve those trapped there since the siege began. It was night but with all the illumination going off you’d hardly know it. The NVA was throwing one artillery round at us, one after the other. We were in the trenches hoping one of those rounds did not hit us on the head. Ears to the ground I heard this digging sound. Was the NVA tunneling under us? I heard rumors they did that sort of thing. I listened and worried. This was it. I was sure of it. Then came the what made those digging sounds. Hundreds of rats, climbing over me, getting trapped between me and the trench and struggling to get free. Running under me. They were everywhere — and then gone. When would they come back? Try sleep on that.
July 14, 2010 at 3:29 pm
Hey Doc, thanks for the story – I can relate to the rats too. Welcome Home Brother!
July 14, 2010 at 2:21 pm
I’m one of those who have delayed-onset PTSD from Vietnam. It affected me ever since – with getting only 4 hours of sleep, sometimes waking up in a cold sweat screaming. Yeah…. and I wasn’t even a combat soldier!! I can just imagine what it would have beem like to be a tunnel rat. One of my good friends was a tunnel rat – he’s STILL “not right” upstairs.
Part of my “therapy” was to write a book. The title is “Land of childhood’s Fears”. It’s got great reviews, and I was a guest on Radio Liberty (Genesis Network) 17 times talking about it.
If you would like an autographed copy, call me (718) 673 3075 – HARDCOVER ONLY for autographed copies.
Read some of the book and the chapter of original poetry http://www.net4TruthUSA.com/vietnambook.htm
July 14, 2010 at 3:55 pm
WebPaster Dave, thanks for visiting my blog and sharing your story. I did stop in and spent some time on your site – wonderful job! Many interesting stories. Will add your book to my list of books to read. / John
July 14, 2010 at 7:22 pm
as an australian infantry soldier wia at the battle of long khahn june 6th 1971 i can honestly say i never felt afraid,my training overcame the fear,maybe im different,its a bit like when the back end of your car goes into a slide the first thing you want to do is hit the brakes,WRONG,if your trained properly you act on that,but shock is the killer,after getting choppered out and eventually getting to the operating room shock set in
July 15, 2010 at 11:46 am
G’day Mate!
Thank you for posting on my blog, it is much appreciated! I hope you were not injured too badly in the war. Main thing is that you survived – Welcome home brother!
August 28, 2010 at 9:42 pm
I have never experienced fear like it before or since. Fear that actually feezes you. Incoming 122mm rockets hitting all around you and you need to take that first step out of the bunker to fire counter rockets on a 155mm howitzer. Your legs feel like they weigh a thousand pounds. You can’t describe it to people only to the people that had the same type of experience.
August 28, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Thank you for your support…Welcome home brother!!!
August 31, 2010 at 2:26 am
I really enjoyed reading your book. I have spoken with people like yourself about their experiences and have the utmost respect for what you and those guys had to endure. Y’all are one he’ll of a group of guys. Thank very much for serving this country and for sharing this book.
September 2, 2010 at 2:43 pm
Bob, thank you for purchasing my book, I am glad you enjoyed it! Thank you also for the kind words – it is much appreciated. Spread the word about the book and please feel free to leave some words on the Amazon website regarding your reading experience. Come back and visit! Thanks again! / John
September 25, 2010 at 11:17 pm
My base was attacked during Tet 1968. It was the first time I had ever come under fire and I was really scared. I have a lot of admiration for the grunts who endured a year in the bush.
I remember one night we came under a mortar attack and I had to jump nto a ditch. I damn near landed on a big hairy rat that just happened to be in the ditch too.
I immensely enjoyed reading your book and want to commend you on such a good blend of fact and fiction. I couldn’t put it down until I had finished it.
September 26, 2010 at 12:59 pm
Joe,
Thank you very much for your support and interest in my book, Cherries. I am really glad you enjoyed it! I am also certain we can both agree that we were not only scared of the enemy and getting fired upon, but having to deal with the many “creatures” and “varmints” in Vietnam was right up there on the pucker scale. Thanks again for writing and Welcome Home Brother!
October 17, 2010 at 2:26 pm
I haven’t read your book yet. Just discovered it. I was in Vietnam 67-68 and for a short time in ’70.
I was fortunate: I was fully Special Forces qualified, and even spoke a bit of Vietnamese. I worked with MACV-SOG.
Going about the country, I saw so many “Newbies” (or “Cherries”). I felt so sorry for them. I met some of them on the plane going over. Talked to others a year later, going back. I’ll look forward to the book.
October 17, 2010 at 8:50 pm
Tom,
Thank you for visiting my blog and for leaving your comment – it is much appreciated! I do hope that you enjoy the novel and I look forward to reading your additional comments on this blog after finishing the read. Welcome home brother!
March 3, 2011 at 7:19 pm
John, thank you for writing this epic, I went through Fort Polk and Oakland on my way to Vietnam so your story had a special meaning to me. I think fear has different levels but none worse than being in the darkness of night back in Vietnam. With every sunrise came the euphoric feeling that we made it through one more night on the long journey home.
My friend, who was in the Marine reserves back then, had never read a book on our war, after reading Cherries he has a new understanding of what it was like for those of us who were there. Thank you so much for sharing your year in hell with all of us, God Bless. Bob L.
March 4, 2011 at 3:02 pm
Bob,
Thank you very much for the kind words, I really do appreciate your feedback. Hopefully, Cherries was able to bridge that gap between you and your friend. Welcome Home Brother!
December 18, 2011 at 9:58 pm
John, your book warmed my hands for many hours while I read. It is one of the few I’ve read that I read straight through. Absolutely could not put it back on the shelf.
If anyone that has seen combat tells another that he/she was never scared, they’re telling a huge fib!
The first time I was shot out of the sky in the Huey I was crew chief on, I can honestly say I knew our entire crew was about to die. I wasn’t scared (no fibbin’ here), until 30 minutes after our crew was fished out of the enemy infested rice paddy. I am a non-smoker, but borrowed a pack from the crew chief of the rescue bird and chain smoked most of them. After landing back at Camp Evans, I wouldn’t stand up…the adrenaline had worn off. “White Robe Six” saved me from yet another scrape with death.
Great site John. Keep up the good work!
If interested in another adrenalin pumper, See the reviews of my book Missions Of Fire And Mercy~Until Death Do Us Part on Amazon. Website is under re-construction, but you may order an autographed copy directly from me at: missionsoffireandmercy@gmail.com
D
December 19, 2011 at 4:47 pm
Thanks for your response on my blog Bill. Let me know when the construction is over and I’ll stop by and visit. My 5 star review of your book is also posted on Amazon.com. Take care!
John Podlaski, author
Cherries – A Vietnam War Novel [image: Facebook Page] [image: WordPress] [image: Amazon] Get a signature like this. CLICK HERE.
December 18, 2011 at 11:20 pm
Please visit my blog site at: 67bulletholes.wordpress.com
February 10, 2012 at 6:35 pm
Although I have never fought or lived through a war I have heard many stories from those who have. My mother and both my in-laws lived through WWII in Germany. The stories are so intense you wonder how a person can process these experiences. It changes people for life. I am a nurse and have had many patients tell me their stories. I have been there with them for their nightmares during the night. I have be mistaken for the enemy soldier and been in danger myself. I have seen the terror in their eyes that explained their tattered soul. Soldiers are heroes through and through but are we there to help them when they come home to us? The answer unfortunately is not like we should be. To all of you that have suffered and lost I say thank you but doubt that it is enough.
February 10, 2012 at 9:55 pm
Thank you Karen for your service to our vets. We all need great listeners who have an understanding and compassionate heart. You are needed by many and I hope that you will continue to stand along side while we continue to wage the battle within.
February 11, 2012 at 11:33 am
Could not have said it better Bill. I can also relate as my mother was also in Germany during WWII. She currently has dementia and is in a nursing home. Each night, she is reliving those experiences from 60 yrs ago.
February 11, 2012 at 2:08 pm
What an awful life your mother must have had…and now to have nightmares about those days that seem so long ago, yet are in front of her nightly. I feel blessed that my experiences seem like they are so minor in comparison. God bless your mother.
February 11, 2012 at 4:15 pm
Thanks Brother!
March 25, 2012 at 3:46 pm
John:
I am quiet sure I remember who you are…..been a lot of water over the dam. I got your web page from an email from Barry Gregorich.
I do want to order your book and hope to see you @ our next reunion.
Please contact me if possible. I am on facebook regularly as well.
I also come through Missouri 2-3 times each year going to my farm in Kansas to hunt.
My cell # is 828-442-6007.
Regards
Monk
April 17, 2012 at 12:04 pm
I served in C Co/1/506 for a couple of months in 1970, then with the Recon Plt/HHC/3dBde/101st Abn for the remainder of my tour (70-71). A lot of people (at least of those who know what they are) think LRRPs had it really tough. I always tell them that they’re wrong… the line dogs were the guys who REALLY had it rough. LRRPs rarely spent more than 7 days at a time in the field, then a day or two in the rear. Line companies spent up to 3 months at a time in the field, with maybe an occasional week securing a fire base in (relative) security and ease (at least they didn’t have to hump that ruck!). I enjoyed your book, and hope you’ll be at the 101st Abn Div Assn gathering this year in Nashville.
April 17, 2012 at 1:22 pm
Thanks Clifton! Aside from staying in the bush for months at a time, Recon guys spent those 7 days right under the enemy’s nose. Wasn’t it also true that you guys only went out with 5 – 7 members on your week-long missions? That sir, is scary!
July 30, 2012 at 6:19 pm
We normally worked 6 man teams. IF we made contact, it was scary. Most of our missions though were what we called ‘sneak & peeks’, where our objective was to get in, get intel, and get back out without them even knowing we’d been there. Line dogs though were always LOOKING for trouble. We avoided it as much as possible.
July 30, 2012 at 6:48 pm
Thanks Clifton, I do appreciate your feedback. You didn’t mention which group you were with – Recon or SOG. Either way, I really admired you guys…it took balls to do what you did. Welcome Home Brother and God Bless!
September 23, 2012 at 12:06 pm
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January 16, 2013 at 1:17 pm
11 hours of contact on FSB29er May 25 1968. Never thinking I’d see daylight i learned as a cherrie what night could bring.17 kia’d and 54 wia’d out of C,co 1/8 in 4th div. From that night through my whole tour the respect of night and know what could come with it i learned to over come the fear but scared was allways in the back of my mind.